hearts, holly and certainty

My day began in confusion as I woke up wearing the wrong pajamas. At least, I woke up wearing something other than what I thought I’d gone to bed wearing. As I lay there clothed in pants with a Christmas holly print, I struggled to remember the night before. I was tired, too tired to turn the overhead light or lamp on, so I’d felt my way around the room to my in the dark. I’d opened my pajama drawer and worked my hand left to right searching by feel: silk, flannel, cotton. Then I’d worked through the cotton stack feeling the buttons and pant drawstrings until I found what I thought were  my pink pajamas. I slipped them on and crawled into bed. This morning I woke, stretched and gasped when I discovered that I wasn’t wearing pink hearts as I thought but green Christmas holly. My first words of the day were. “But I was so sure…”

These days, I say things like “but I was sure…” and “I wasn’t expecting that…” with alarming regularity. I am certain that God is faithful in His goodness towards me but I’m not really sure what form it will take each day. He might be faithful to protect someone I love from harm. Or He might be faithful to comfort me when they are harmed. The attribute is certain. My understanding of the expression? Not so much. More often than not, I find myself in circumstances and situations that I didn’t expect. Sometimes I expect hearts and wake up to holly. But He is the same “yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8) He’s certain even when life feels uncertain.

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