Tuesday Thoughts 08-10-2010

I couldn’t sleep last night. I spent a few hours lying in the dark, listening to the ceiling fan and wishing that I was alseep. I was tired. I was calm. I was ready to sleep: I’d donned my pajamas, had my cup of tea, brushed my teeth and crawled between the sheets with every intention of getting some much desired rest. My body didn’t want to cooperate with that plan. By 6:30am, I was standing in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal in the dark. Both the cereal (which I eat on rare occasions) and the lack of light attested to my weariness.

Ten years ago, I wouldn’t have thought much of missing a night’s sleep. Younger me had more energy. And nightmares. I didn’t know that His presence was with me always, even when the dark places were hidden from the rest of the world. I didn’t know that He was there. Even when my entire existence felt like a nightmare. Even when it seemed that brokenness and shame and panic filled every moment that I was awake. Even when days turned to weeks, weeks to months and months to years. I had many sleepless, hopeless nights.

Had. Past tense. I don’t just sleep peacefully these days either. No, I have peace. The beauty of redemption is that no portion of life remains untouched. I have peace for sleeping, peace for living, and even peace for the times I choose to eat cereal for breakfast. Knowing Jesus, really knowing Him, makes all the difference.

“I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8

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2 thoughts on “Tuesday Thoughts 08-10-2010

  1. That was the first verse God revealed to me as He led me out of the darkness of fear many years ago. I feel like it is *my* verse. It’s a funny thing, though, because I initially misread it and memorized it incorrectly. For quite some time I would fall asleep at night repeating something like this: “I will lie down in peace and sleep alone, for You, O Lord, will keep me safe.” To this day, I believe that the Lord allowed me to memorize it incorrectly because it was sleeping alone that was my greatest fear. God is so good to His people. XOXOX

  2. When I was learning to use this verse I had it taped to the footboard of my bed, to the bathroom mirror, on the ceiling above my head, etc. One night I woke up and found that the verse on the ceiling had fallen and I was frantically trying to remember it correctly when I realized that the God of Scripture was with me. Had I been a cartoon a lightbulb would have flashed above my head! Yes, He is good to His children!

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