I’m usually a morning person. (And yes, I know that reading those words very likely made your face scrunch and twist with disgust.) I shamelessly admit to smiling upon waking. If His mercies are truly new every morning, why would I not take joy at another chance to experience His goodness? That’s simplistic but then again, why must living out our theology always be so complicated? Every breath is a wondrous gift from the Creator. His presence is yet a greater gift. My understanding is that if morning finds me still breathing and Him still with me then my heart has every reason to be glad that I’ve awakened. I suppose that my enthusiasm can be obnoxious, so go ahead and groan if you must. I haven’t always thought this way.
I woke this morning to a room filled with hazy, gray light. Usually, one of my favorite things about my morning is the part where I sit up in bed, pull back the curtains and watch the sun rise. I didn’t even want to look today. The thump-thump on the roof assured me that it was raining. And I sighed. The forecast said only a 30% chance of rain. Normally, I’d be thrilled upon waking to the sound of rain on my day off; it gives me an excuse to lounge around in my pj’s and nap as I wish. But not this morning. Today, it seemed that every raindrop sliding down my window washed away my happiness and the gentle thudding on the roof fell heavy on my heart. I had a plan for the day involving a spot by the river, a blanket and sunshine. I wanted sunshine. After the emotionally draining week before and the flurry of this week’s activities, I felt like I needed it.
I wish that I could say that I pulled out my Bible and was reminded of grace and thus my heart was set to right. It wasn’t so tidy. I cried as I worked my way through my daily reading plan. There’s a frowny-face drawn beside my first journal entry of the day, “Rain. Bleh. No sunshine. No courage for dreariness. Maybe I’ll go back to sleep…” It was lunchtime before I confessed my discontent and submitted my day to the One who gives rain and sunshine to show mercy.
My afternoon was lovely. I curled up with my favorite blanket, several cups of tea and book. I sat beside the window watching the rain fall and found myself in tears for the second time today, though this time was the result of being overwhelmed by the beauty before my eyes. Being home alone offered silence which proved to be very soothing after such a hectic week. I’m close to tears again as I realize that it was exactly what I needed. I’m thankful that He is wise even when I insist on behaving foolishly. Have you acknowledged His wisdom today? May it be your delight to do so!