Catch up!!!

Okay, so I haven’t posted anything in a while so I’m posting a few journal entries from the past couple of weeks. Please forgive me for being lazy and don’t forget to visit the link on my photo op page to view b-day pictures.

Thursday, November 3, 2005

I’ve been thinking a lot about dreams which I have abandoned along the way. Some of them were for the best ( who really wants to be a marine biologist anyway?) but in the process of leaving some of them behind, I seem to have lost a part of myself. It seems that with the death of certain dreams a part of me died as well. How many times did I choose to listen to someone else instead of my own heart?

So what, you might be thinking is the point of all this diatribe? Well, the Lord has been restoring that which was lost; dreams which I thought were dead long ago. He keeps calling, “Lazarus, come forth!” And my heart has no choice in the matter. He keeps bringing me out. Bringing life to the most barren places. About a month ago I wrote in my journal, “Lord, you have made me desolate, a wasteland but I don’t want to be desolate anymore.” And lo and behold, life is emerging.

Monday, November 7, 2005

“Risk” by Ten Shekel Shirt
It all begins with a risk…
Cause your desire is for this
To be loved and to love
its what everything is all about

I’m allowed to live to make the Maker smile
I vow to give the best years of my life

Life’s meant to be like a kiss
Cause intimacy is bliss
To be loved and to love
is what everything is all about

I’m allowed to live to make the Maker smile
I vow to give the best years of my life
Right now I live to make the Maker smile
I’m free to give the best years of my life

I just love that line, “I’m allowed to live to make the Maker smile.” Oh, how I want be one who brings delight to the heart of Jesus! It’s definitely risky but it seems that the most incredible joys require incredible risks to obtain them. Like another line from one of their songs, “to be the one who makes You smile is everything.”

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

Today was interesting. I kinda felt like I was in a fog all day.  Just out there somewhere. I just kept thinking, “Jesus, be my anchor, my stay!” I was so frail, so human. It was one of those times when I felt so weak that all I could do was rest on His grace. And what sweet rest. Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee…

Thursday, November 10, 2005

So last night a few of us were talking about the moment when we see Jesus face to face and what we think that will be like. Someone jokingly made the comment, “Tiffany, when Jesus sees you, I know just what he’ll say ‘peek-a-boo!’ and then you’ll be like ‘whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, (pause) do it again!'” I just laughed. I’m simple and I don’t have a problem with that.

But then today I kept thinking about that.  How awesome it will be when I finally see Him face to face. He keeps giving me glimpses of Himself and I’m blown away.

It’s like when you play peek-a-boo with a small child, and you just peek at them through your fingers. They see that glimpse of your face and squeal with delight. Then you cover your face again and they reach for you.  You peek between your fingers at them and they reach for your hands and they try to pry them away from your face. They are thrilled by each glance but are eager for the moment where you pull your hands away and say, “Here I am!” That’s how I’m feeling. I am delighted by every look that He sends my way but I’m reaching, longing for the moment when I see Him fully, face to face.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

God alone suffices. ~St. Teresa of Jesus

So, today was spent on Practicum. Jessica, Emily and I spent the afternoon with a couple of Tibetan girls. We baked cookies ( and NO we didn’t burn them ) and tried to make fudge.  Yeah, that didn’t go so well!  It never really seemed to harden but we left it in the freezer so maybe it will be, uh, firmer by tomorrow. If not we’ll have an awesome ice cream topping!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Yesterday was my 21st birthday and sitting here reflecting on my life thus far, I am overwhelmed by the reality of the grace that has been given to me.
Birthday fun!
Last night we went out to celebrate at a Vietnamese restaurant.  Mmmmmmm… maybe we had a little too much fun…
Hopey and I were playing with the bamboo shoots and lemon grass leaves that were supposed to go in my bowl of pho ( or Hanoi soup mixed with beef ball soup,which is my favorite).  Jo and Erin played with chopsticks.  I introduced them to cafe su da,
which most of them enjoyed.  I just drink it because you’re supposed to.  I’m not too big on coffee to begin with and the aftertaste is way too strong for me to really appreciate it. (and last night I kept having flashbacks of gulping them down in Vietnam before the ‘bad ice’ could melt!)
Anyway, I had a really great time. Even when they embarrassed me by going around the table and sharing 21 things they like about me.  I have such wonderful friends!  Ya’ll bless my heart!  Thank you birthday fairies!

Tuesday, November 14, 2005

I have had a wonderful day.

Class this morning was amazing. We’re in the middle of Living Free and this morning we were talking about the in filling of the Holy Spirit. It was such a good class!

And then this evening Tia was teaching ballroom dancing in the gym. It was so much fun! I have always wanted to learn to dance like that.  I still do for that matter.  Someday…

And then to make it even better, when I left the gym it was snowing!!  It was the first time that I’ve ever seen snow and it was so beautiful. *sigh*  Life is beautiful. The Lord blesses me so much.

Do you know that delight is my favorite word? When I say it, it makes me think of sunshine, and towels right out of the dryer, a really rich dessert.

I was just thinking about how the Lord just brings such delight to my heart. Jaree and I took a walk in the snow ( which everyone keeps telling me is lame but it’s wonderful to me!) around the back 40 and I felt like my heart was bursting inside of me! I kept thinking of words that were descriptive of what I was feeling:

Delight! Wonder! Fascination!

It’s amazing how He captivates our hearts.

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